just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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