it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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