five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
