Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
