those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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