i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
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i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
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Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.