WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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