Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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