Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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