Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
