Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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