What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also, beer. Big fan.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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