scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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