i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
