we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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