Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
