he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
