they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
