is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
