My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
