So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
