Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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