1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
