Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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