i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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