we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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