Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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