woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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