Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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