this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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