return my video game
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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