Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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