i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was CRYING into my vagina
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
