We're like a lot better than the average bears
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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