ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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