Ambien. No doubt about it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
