I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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