I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
