God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
