...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
