No stitches, just platelets and will power
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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