I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize