We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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