Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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