Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
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I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
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That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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