The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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