Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I smell like Dick and happiness
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
