wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
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My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
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Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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