Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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