maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
