READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
