I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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