Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
