Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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