That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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