apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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