oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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