Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
