If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
