I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
