There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Randomize
