would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
