ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
