How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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