Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
